In Bits of Forever, Part VIII

Written by Mauryn Okunga

Christian said he’d make dinner for me “soon”, but left the decision on the exact date to me. I love being in charge, on top, if you please. But this open invitation gets scarier whenever I think about it. A nagging thought lingers, that this dinner date might be the needle that pricks our bubble.

I enjoy Christian’s company in a way I never thought I could. But men were a means to an end in my previous life, and after Xander, no one had taken interest in me beyond how short my dress was or how loud I moaned between the sheets for them. It’s the reason this thing with Christian kills me – mostly sweetly.  

I wish I had a girlfriend to share my dilemma with. Su – the closest friend I have ever had – has not really warmed up to the idea of my relationship with Christian. Plus, she is still stuck in the past life I moved on from long ago.  Maria, the receptionist would be helpful but she laughs too loud, wears too much make-up and is just weird. Annette the data entrant could have a wise thing to say, but she gossips too much, knows too much. I’m sure she even knows what the spider in the office bathroom had for breakfast.

“The Director is ready to see you,” Maria’s voice came through my office phone.

Drat! The report the director reminded me about last night is supposed to be presented today! For the first time since I started work at UT University, it will be the first time I’m meeting the Director without a third party. He’d asked for the report on what challenges my office was facing in handling student issues. I’d emailed him the report this morning but he wants us to go through it in person.

I was not in the mood for that meeting but it went better than I’d thought. He was happy with how keenly I was tracking progress of our student clients. We also discussed my current position in the department and he informed me about a new Head of Department who would be joining as soon as HR finalized the documentation. Hmmm! I hoped it won’t be another John.

*

Christian and I are on the phone every day, talking or texting, sometimes sending blank messages to each other. We find every excuse to keep in touch. Even with the “dinner date” hanging over our heads, Christian is still as funny, entertaining and warm. I can almost touch the chemistry between us and that is scary.

He hasn’t said the three worded phrase – I love you – and neither have I.  It doesn’t bother me much, after all his actions show he does. I don’t know if I love him or if I am in love with the illusion that a man could actually treat me like a fragile flower, and make me feel pretty and important without asking for sex.

My last attempt at exclusivity was with Mugisha who nearly killed me the day he found a flirty text message on my phone. I didn’t understand where his rage came from considering that he was a married man with a daughter older than me. Leaving him led to my “salvation” from men. 

Until Christian happened.

Christian with the wink, the infections smile and eyes that draws you in. Christian with the hug so warm you’d want to remain crushed in his arms forever. Christian the fixer of the broken office stapling machine, the non-responsive telephone handset and everything in between.

Would I live with myself if he decides he didn’t want to talk to me again? Even with the daily bliss, I can’t help but wonder why I opened myself up to this drama. The uncertainty of not knowing if this is for real or another slow journey to getting laid before it’s all over, is plain painful.   

“Are you up for scrabble tonight?”

Christian is a pro at Scrabble. I’ve only beaten him once since we started playing the game online. I keep thinking he cheats. After all he is a techie.

I have beaten him at chess though.

“I’ve lost enough scrabble games to you. How about chess after dinner at yours? Friday night,” I text back.

“Game on! Thank you so much. ” A wink emoji came in a follow up message.

My heart beat several times faster.

*

Dear reader, thank you for passing by as always. Look out for the last two installments in the coming weeks. 

 

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